Ready to End it All

Hi. I wanted to ask your opinion about my situation. My DH and I have been married for a few years but I'm ready to walk away. I've been unhappy for the most part. For the last 2 years, I've dealt with a cheater, liar, drug user, and jailbird for a husband. I feel like a fool for dealing with a man like this for so long. We separated earlier this year and in that time, I suspected that he was being dishonest so I started checking his cell phone records and calling some of the numbers. I found out that he had been seeing 4 different women, one was a woman that he had a relationship with before we got married. I spoke with two of the other women and they BOTH told me that they were in love with him. They even told me that they wouldn't stop seeing him either. So, I confronted him about this and he denied it, then told me that they were lying. Whatever... I also found out that he had a profile in Yahoo Personals. He mentioned that he was "divorced" and had saved several profiles and emailed other women. I told him that I'm tired of the way he treats me and I wanted a divorce. But he begged me to give him another chance.A few weeks later, he moves back in with me. I don't trust him and sometimes I can stand to even look at him. I have a hard time making love to him because I always end of thinking about him being with another woman and the thought of this makes me sick.On Memorial Day, he went through my phone while I was asleep and saw pictures and texts from some male friends and he went berserk. He called some of these guys and accused me of cheating with them. We even got into a physical altercation because of this. After that, he followed me everywhere. He wouldn't even go to work because he followed me. Today, I decided to be "nosey" and check his emails and guess what. One of the emails was a "registration confirmation" from Match.com that he received yesterday!I'm sick and tired of being in a marriage with a man I can't trust. I'm ready to end it now. What would you do? 

You are a grown woman ...so I'm not going to sugar coat this thing or give reasons why. Bounce. Plain and Simple ...Actually out of respect for you ...I continued reading ...bc my mind was made up ..from the first few sentences.

Wow!  Your relationship with your hubby is unhealthy and toxic.  I think you already know what you should do.  You guys ares are no longer compatible.  Take care of yourself sister.  You deserve better.  All the best! 

Even if you chose to excuse or overlook everyhting else, once it became physical it needed to be the final straw. I usually wouldn't tell a person this but we're losing too many young women to domestic violence - BOUNCE!

Sweetie, I think deep down inside, you already know what to do.  Give him his walking papers and if he's following you everywhere, get a restraining order because that's stalking.
 
You deserve much more than that my nubian queen.  God bless you!!!

I agree with all the ladies. There is no way this could benefit you. It is violent, unhealthy and extremely toxic. Get counseling for yourself and seek an attorney. I am alll for the sanctity of marriage, but there is no basic respect here.  My heart breaks for you.

Sorry to hear what you are going through. Since he is already "divorced" in his personal profiles, why not make an honest man out of him and divorce him.

Since you ask what would we do, personally, I would either pack his bags or my own, get a restraining order, and file for divorce. This man isn't worthy of being any woman's husband. If you stay with him, things will only get worse...and you know that things are getting worse when things get physical. So, please do what you need to do to maintain your sanity and emotional and physical well-being.

I don't know your living situation. If you rent, speak to the landlord about why you need to break your lease. Get a place of your own and don't ever let him know your address. If you can't get a place right away, stay with a good friend or relative until you can. Pack your bags and move out your stuff when you know he won't be home. Put as much distance as you can between him and you. Get a restraining order and see an attorney to file for divorce.

If you own your own home, get a restraining order, change the locks, get a rotweiler or two and an alarm system or change the code, pack his bags and take them to his relative's house so he doesn't ever have to be on your street again, see an attorney, and file for divorce.

Notify security at your place of employment with his photo and name letting them know that you have a restraining order and he's not to be allowed into the building. Always be aware of your surroundings and stay away from secluded places especially at night.

None of this is extreme. You wrote that he's a drug user and a jailbird.  As far as I'm concerned, a man like that is fully capable of anything. Men without that history have committed heinous crimes against women.

Wow!! sorry to hear about your "situation" but I agree with the other ladies, THIS IS NOT HEALTHY FOR YOU or him..life is too short to deal with drama.  I am all for working out marriages and the biblical aspect-God hates divorce, BUT he also gives you common sense.  I am praying for you...for peace, safety and healing...

I think the ladies has said it well. I don't think you have anything here worth salvaging.
 
I think he doesn't want to be married to you anymore. He just doesn't want to be the one to do it.
 
Once again. He doesn't want to be married to you. He DOES NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU.
 
My sista you deserve better, and your situation is NOT in the WILL OF GOD. Plain and simple. You have to ask GOD for the strength to WALK AWAY, which I sense with all thats happened to you, you still are not willing to GIVE IT UP. If you walk away from this marriage, you have not FAILED. ITS not your failure. We all make mistakes, relationships and marriages included. Sure Jesus was not for divorces, but in the bible a marriage is only if BOTH wants to be married to each other.
1st Corinthians 7:15 says (in reference to marriage): "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
You are not living in Peace. If you choose to reconcile with your husband, you must stick it out and wait and not complain. But if you are not happy, remember God ALWAYS makes a way of escape. And I cannot understand how God would want you to stay in your current situation if you both can't make it work.