Relationships with Mother-In-Laws

I have a wonderful relationship with my FMIL. We talk on the phone daily and we're in a bookclub together. My FH is her only child and he is her pride and joy. Still to this day she spoils him and caters to his every need. I had to tell him the other night that I was not his MOm so please don't expect me to do the things that she does for him. Sometimes she can be really overbearing but FH and I easily let her know about her "take over spirit", and she always takes notice. Overall, she is a blessing and refers to me as the daughter she never had. She is always buying things for us and doing nice things. BTW, his father is wonderful too but FMIL is the one in charge.

At the beginning me and FMIL had a close relationship. However, she crossed one day and that was the end of that. One thing is I NEVER, EVER forget when a person has crossed me. We would never be tight again but we do speak (talk) here and there. She and FH don't have that tight of a relationship either. If anything they need to get closer.

As civil as can be I guess.

My FH biological mother passed away about 1 year into our relationship. We got along well, but we never had a chance to get close.

His stepmother is a very nice person. We are not "close", but we get along well, and have never had any problems.

I really dont have a reelationship with my FMIL and neither does my FH. We dont really talk much,she's not a social type of person. She sticks with SELECT family members only. She comes out to where I live every weekend to see her daughter and son but only once in the last year has she been to mine and FH house, and we only live about 5 minutes apart from both of his sibilings that she visits. I just dont get her sometimes and I stopped trying when she stopped talking to FH for a reason unknown.

I can remember when I brought my mom to church with me (about 9 months ago) so she could meet the rest of his family that she doesnt already know, my FMIL walked right past us as I was talking to her.She totally ignored me and my mom while everyone else welcomed her with open arms. I dont think she ever even acknowledge that my mom was even there or what she even looked like. The sad thing is we were standing with the rest of his family and she (FMIL) kept talking to everyone else and said absolutely nothing to us. I got so upset and so did my mom and FH so we just left.

I guess our relationship is okay...she's really p***ing me off about this wedding planning. She wants to run the event, but FH and I have everything under control. I suppose since I haven't asked for her help in anything, she's taking it upon herself to research. She's buying stuff I don't need, when she asks me questions about the ceremony, she's quick to tell me "you're not suppose to do that". Besides, her style is too 'thrifty'(uber tacky) for me. She needs to heed her husband's advice: "Cinny's the bride, so leave her & her mother to the details until your services are solicited." She is so d@mn stubborn & doesn't listen well at all. I spend 8-10 hours Mon-Thus on the net & I am subscribed to every bridal publication known to man (from Elegant Bride to Brides Noir and she gave me a list of 'to-dos'. HA! She must don't know how meticulous I am) So, I can say we don't even have a 'relationship' per-se. I stay away from their home as much as possible, so I don't have to deal with the anguish. (I wonder if she treats FH crappy, because he said 'you're not the only woman in my life any more'.

Cinny my FMIL tend to over extend herself with other peoples events too. I think I mentioned before that she didnt even go to her daughters wedding because she decided to have it where she lives (in new Jersey) instead of here (in Los Angeles). And as followers the rest of her kids didnt go either. Because she couldnt be in control she didnt want anyone to be a part of it.

I kind of think thats how she feels with our wedding too. Since we been together everybody in FH family knows/see and dwells on every bad detail of our relationship,but not the good. They didnt even tell FH biological sisters we were getting married, but you better believe they told them if we had an arguement! So you can probably see why we arent too close to his family, with the exception of his biological siblings (who try to stay away from everyone too).

My MIL an I are close. I really like the fact that she say's what's on her mind and doesn't take sides. If she talks behind my back it would be a surprise. When Curt and I are acting stank with each other she gets us both together to tell us off. She's very big on family. I love her because of the way she treats my children. We talk everyday and she works at the shop with me on the weekend. We also do crafts together, I get along with her like I get along with my mom.

Oh Niquey that is such a blessing....tell mom I said hello and I see her soon :-)

Niquey sounds alot like my FMIL. That's wonderful you both have a great relationship.

I get along great with my mother-in-law.She's like my second mom!

Thanks Rhonda. Its not that I have anything against her its just she dont like to be bothered, so I leave her alone. When she finally does come around I wouldnt know what to do.I will be scared of her.

[quote="CharlotteModebe"]Oh Niquey that is such a blessing....tell mom I said hello and I see her soon :-)
[/quote] Will do!
I just got in, the whole family went to the debutante ball tonight.

Girl I so wish I was there..

Me too!!

[quote="platinumstyle"]I get along great with my mother-in-law.She's like my second mom!
[/quote]

She even calls me "her baby".I can talk to her about things that I can't even share with my own mom.She doesn't hold her tongue and will tell me about myself!Then,she says,"I'm telling you this because I love you".She's very spiritual.

Plat I am so happy for you....I tell you I had a cool relationship with my MIL until she told me her son probably hit me because I treat him bad...go figure!!!!!

Oh yes!!!

I have a wonderful relationship with my FMIL, she is a very open person and I can talk to her about anything, including her son. She is a very real person, she doesn't take side if we have a disagreement. She constantly prays for us and encourages us all the time. I hit the jackpot when it comes to MIL. She simply asks what she can do to help with the planning of the wedding, doesn't but in at all. Thank you Jesus:)

[quote="CharlotteModebe"]Plat I am so happy for you....I tell you I had a cool relationship with my MIL until she told me her son probably hit me because I treat him bad...go figure!!!!!
[/quote]

What!!!!Why did she say something like that?

That right up there with Celie telling Harpo to beat Sofia.

[quote="platinumstyle"]Plat I am so happy for you....I tell you I had a cool relationship with my MIL until she told me her son probably hit me because I treat him bad...go figure!!!!!

What!!!!Why did she say something like that?
[/quote]

Because out of 10 children - he is the favorite

[quote="phenomonique"]That right up there with Celie telling Harpo to beat Sofia.

[/quote]

Girl you're too funny....watch that emoticon there (lol)

Long story short my FMIL and I get along fine. We live in different states and she asks about me every day. We always end our communications whether it's by phone or message with I Love You, I Love You, I Love You.

That truly is a blessing....I think the futher away you are the better the relationship can be :-)