once again my logic has caused commotion... I called off my Aug 05 wedding which ended the engagement but we are still together, some things just needed to be taken care of first (hubby2be credit/employment/cs issues). Now he is making a valiant effort to improve and has said he wants Jul 06 date which is fine, the day he asked originally. Now I'm still waiting for the green light from God and every time I think I got it, I try to come up with an excuse not to like now the issue is whether he'll be able financially to handle the load and if he's paid off any debts & most importantly how he values his spirituality/how he feels about mine (he was raised Lutheran me Baptist (holy ghost tongue speaking blah blah. Most women would love to have a guy like him, he is a gentleman always opening doors, totally trustworthy & adores me & my daughter. How do you get past what you see?
once again my logic has caused commotion... I called off my Aug 05 wedding which ended the engagement but we are still together, some things just needed to be taken care of first (hubby2be credit/employment/cs issues). Now he is making a valiant effort to improve and has said he wants Jul 06 date which is fine, the day he asked originally. Now I'm still waiting for the green light from God and every time I think I got it, I try to come up with an excuse not to like now the issue is whether he'll be able financially to handle the load and if he's paid off any debts & most importantly how he values his spirituality/how he feels about mine (he was raised Lutheran me Baptist (holy ghost tongue speaking blah blah. Most women would love to have a guy like him, he is a gentleman always opening doors, totally trustworthy & adores me & my daughter. How do you get past what you see?
Sistah I honor you are respect you for making a BOLD statement and calling of the wedding, that alone is a brave thing to do especially when people are expecting it to happen. It's obivious that you believe in the power of God and you don't lean to your own understanding, continue to trust Him and He will let you know when and if it is time for you to marry, remember God allows things to happen for a reason and you say you keep making excuses why it is not time....believe me, you are not ready, take your time and allow God to move. You also say that he is making an effect to get things in prospective....I applauded him, allow him to do what he has to do and if he truly wants this wedding to happen, he will work unceasingly to ensure it does. Be blessed, stand still and know that He is God.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Sistah are you afraid? You said ...."I try to come up with an excuse".... If the brother is making a sincere effort, and you love him and God has NOT told you he is not the one -- I think you should give the brother a chance or at least continue to pray about it without looking for an excuse. In an attempt not to put my business in the street, but I will share just a little because I think it may help. I will just give you a little of my story. I lost my job twice within the past two years which caused financial problems (Thank God I have the job of my dreams now and I make a decent salary). My credit is terrible, my FH knows this and he works with me giving me a chance to straighten things out. He suggested debt consolidation, and I dragged my feet a while -- then I realized that I didn't want to lose this man and more importantly I needed to do it for me I consolidated my debt (what a blessing!). I am saving and making the necessary sacrifices to have the life that I, we and our daughter deserve. You seem like an intelligent lady and the fact that you are still involved with this man lets me know that you are willing to give him a chance. I believe if he were not worth the time you probably would've cut him off completely. Hang in there, if you believe he is worth it, continue to encourage him and keep your eyes and ears open, remain in prayer -- in time you will know exactly what to do.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sistah,
I am a firm believer in that God will never put more on you than you can bear. What holds us back is our own fear and/or doubt. And many times He will have spoken to us numerous times yet and still we keep coming up with "Well", or "But", or "What if". What we will have to do is step out on faith. Get out of the boat;you'll never know if you can walk on water if you stay in.In other words get out of your comfort zone. The only way to overcome is to do something boldly when you're afraid. DO it afraid. If you know for sure God has ordained your marriage ask him for confidence. I'm not sure where your husband stands spiritually but as he asks God to prepare him to be the husband you need, you should ask him to prepare you to be the supportive helpmate he is going to need. From there things will fall into place in every aspect of your lives. Believe me this is a personal testimony for me.
"All things are working together for my good." Romans 8:28
Marquita01, I have some questions and I mean no offense...but don't you think all of this apprehension sistah is having is a sign from God telling her to be still...or "Not Yet"?..are you saying she only has cold feet, and she is only afraid and that she should fight that fear by actually getting married (something that her spirit man is telling her not to do "at this point"?) don't you think if she were certain that this was the right thing to do, there would be no anxiety?...again I am not trying to be cynical and I actually was not going to respond again but please clarify because "I" am little confused. (Again please do not be offened cause that's not what this sistahood is all about)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Wow, I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for you Sistah. Marriage is a big deal and you keep moving in God's direction. That should be applauded. I don't have any advice. But, I do know that every relationship has something. Maybe this will just be a good time for you to partner with him to work through this.
Ladies, thank you so much. I guess it helps to have someone on the outside for you to appreciate what you have. My mother married 3 times so I don't have the best example to go by. I just wish my own intelligence would take a backseat and let Him drive but of course that would be too much like right. Ant adores my family & my daughter and isn't abusive and has so many other good qualities. The funny thing is when we first met, I said to his face he wasn't my type- which was true but what you want & need often don't come in the same package. The things that keep me from saying I Do are all minor things that are seem to be fixable like snoring/teethgrinding, cs, debt and he's just downright silly almost all the time and it gets to be nervewrecking and sometimes it seems like he tries too hard to be liked but we can't go anywhere without him seeing people he know.
When it all boils down, I just want success for all of us.
sistah, Welcome to the boards! Don't reset the wedding date. You are not ready to marry him. You do not have to settle just because he is what "other people would call a gentleman". There seems to be no spark and you are not in love with him are you? You didn't say I love this man like crazy. Why are you even thinking about marrying him anyway? My experience as a life coach has alrms going off in my head. See a couples counselor or a life coach in your town. It could help him with a lot of his issues and you with yours.
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I agree with Rosetta unequivocally.....you are not ready! Its all fine and good to go along with the program and all the excitement but what happens when all the fan fare is over and reality sets in, you are now stuck with someone you do not love unconditionally.....
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
sistah, I agree with Rosetta and Charlotte. I feel that if this was truly the man for you, you would not be having anxiety. Could it be something else that is bothering you about him -- not his credit issues, etc., etc.? Take time to listen to God and yourself, and the answer will come to you. I wish you all the best with this difficult situation.
Blessed be the Lord my strength ......
I have decided to take my time until it feels right. Thanks a bunch, I wish you all sincere happiness in each of your unions. God Bless!
Sistah....I pray if that God strengthens you and give you peace, remember we are here for you..
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Sistah I wish you all the best! Take care of yourself.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Well ladies, just a little update. I have not made a decision yet but at bible study we are talking about fear and one of the scripts was John 5:39 and what stuck with me was he said that we don't search for Jesus, everything is a testimony of Him and I'm now reading Myles Munroe, Understanding Your Potential and just in the first 25 pages, my outlook is changing. Now my daily prayer is to see God in everything- especially in what I can't see physically. I'm expecting the miraculous in every aspect of my life.
be supernaturally blessed ladies!
Thank you Sistah and I wish you all the best -- seeking God is the best way to handle any situation -- be blessed!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sistah I am so pleased for you...Listen Dr. Myles Munroe is a local pastor here in Nassau and he is a wonderful, knowledgable, education, anointed man of God, he pastors Bahamas Faith Minsitries (BFM) here which looks like TD Jakes ministries. You will enjoy his book and learn a lot from it. Be Blessed!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.