My FH and I decided that we would "do-it-yourself" wherever possible to save some money. I told him that I would do our programs myself and he suggested that his sister do the programs for us. His sister has displayed a "tolerance" for me over the years. I don't want her to do them because I feel that she would take the liberty to change what I want in the program. If I do the programs myself, I know it would be done right and I wouldn't have to worry about her meddling. He feels that I should let her take some of the work from us -- but I don't trust her. Help, I don't want to fight about this with him -- I don't know what to do.
My FH and I decided that we would "do-it-yourself" wherever possible to save some money. I told him that I would do our programs myself and he suggested that his sister do the programs for us. His sister has displayed a "tolerance" for me over the years. I don't want her to do them because I feel that she would take the liberty to change what I want in the program. If I do the programs myself, I know it would be done right and I wouldn't have to worry about her meddling. He feels that I should let her take some of the work from us -- but I don't trust her. Help, I don't want to fight about this with him -- I don't know what to do.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Would he really be upset with you if you just went ahead and did it yourself? Honestly, i don't think it's something to argue about, but if he insist that his sister does it for you, then i think you should stress to her that you don't want anything changed and that she should do it EXACTLY how you ask. I mean it is your wedding and she should understand and respect that.
MrsDonaldson thanks for your response. I just wanted some other opinions on how to handle this. After my FH's mother passed away he and his siblings are not as close as he would like them to be. So the fact that he suggests that his sister (the only sibling that he is in contact with) help us out is a big deal to him. If he insists on her doing the programs, then in order to "keep the peace" I will. But I'll just explain that I want the programs done exactly as I say with no changes -- after all, as you put it, this is my wedding.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Ok, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this: to some extent it sounds like you're being a control freak. I have experienced a hot/cold relationship with my sis-in-law and wasn't too welcoming of her help leading up to the wedding either. I beleive that there is always a point of compromise, perhaps you could do them together and use the time working on the programs as an opportunity to connect with her. There are a million and one things to tend to for the wedding, let people help out where they can to alleviate some stress from you and your FH, you don't HAVE to be a Superwoman and do it all by yourself. Most importantly, consider that it might be really important to him to have her help out in this way, it is his day too. All the best in your wedding preparations!
** It doesn't take the whole day to recognize sunshine **
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Hi Tauyana I'm glad you decided to "go out on a limb". The reason I posted this question is to get other opinions because it is necessary at times. I truly appreciate your input, because I would've never looked at it the way you put it. I will consider working on it with her and use the opportunity to connect with my new sister-in-law. Thank you for shedding new light on this situation, now I am able to approach it from a different perspective. I love my FH and I would very much want for his sister and I to get along. You ladies here at ViBride are the best -- I always appreciate your honest feedback.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I'm happy to help and its humbling to know that in a small way my words helped you see things in a different light. Again, I wish you all the best for your wedding and most importantly, your marriage. Be blessed sister!
** It doesn't take the whole day to recognize sunshine **
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