Hey Guys - I'm sorry to say that I now have my own bridesmaid drama to add to the long list. My theme is ethnic and my colors are red and gold and burnt orange. I asked my bridesmaids to all get gold shoes. Well one of the bridesmaids went and got bronze shoes - I guess she just decided on a pair that she liked and decided to write to everyone else and tell them that she got these shoes for the wedding. So I wrote back stating that since she got the shoes already if they wanted bronze they need to coordinate because there are so many shades of bronze and they probably all need to get their shoes at the same place. Well the store where this bridesmaid got the shoes was not available in the city that one of the brides maids lived in. She was upset that this bridesmaid had just randomly gotten bronze shoes instead of doing what was planned. (To be honest I was a bit upset as well)So she had an arguement with the bridesmaid who bought the shoes. Now the one who caused the whole thing in the first place is so upset and offended and angry that she has decided to drop out of the bridal party leaving me to find another bridesmaid a month before the wedding. And the thing that hurts is that I considered this person a close friend. AND she is married so she knows the stress of weddings. I can't believe that she would do this to me - and she didnt' even have the arguement with me. I was so hurt about it!
So how's that for drama Rhony
Hey Guys - I'm sorry to say that I now have my own bridesmaid drama to add to the long list. My theme is ethnic and my colors are red and gold and burnt orange. I asked my bridesmaids to all get gold shoes. Well one of the bridesmaids went and got bronze shoes - I guess she just decided on a pair that she liked and decided to write to everyone else and tell them that she got these shoes for the wedding. So I wrote back stating that since she got the shoes already if they wanted bronze they need to coordinate because there are so many shades of bronze and they probably all need to get their shoes at the same place. Well the store where this bridesmaid got the shoes was not available in the city that one of the brides maids lived in. She was upset that this bridesmaid had just randomly gotten bronze shoes instead of doing what was planned. (To be honest I was a bit upset as well)So she had an arguement with the bridesmaid who bought the shoes. Now the one who caused the whole thing in the first place is so upset and offended and angry that she has decided to drop out of the bridal party leaving me to find another bridesmaid a month before the wedding. And the thing that hurts is that I considered this person a close friend. AND she is married so she knows the stress of weddings. I can't believe that she would do this to me - and she didnt' even have the arguement with me. I was so hurt about it!
So how's that for drama Rhony
OMG Karenita, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this drama a month before your wedding and by someone that you consider a close friend. Shame on her! You did mention that she is married so she should understand the details involved in pulling out of the wedding a month before the wedding. Did you attempt to speak with her? Perhaps she was upset and will be willing to change her mind after she's had an opportunity to cool off. If you guys live near each other, invite her to lunch and try to sort things out. If not, then perhaps you can call her. In any event I wish you all the best Karenita, this is definitely time for you to be smooth sailing at this point. Be encouraged.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
You have my sympathy. I would try to talk to her. If she does not come around, I would not allow her to attend the wedding at all. Do you really need her? There are lots of weddings that have uneven amounts of attendants. Would you even feel comfortable asking someone to take her place? And as for the shoes. No one could purchase a pair of the bronze shoes for the bridesmaid that lives far away? I wish you the best but do not let ANYONE spoil your day.
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I would call her, let her know I feel and leave it at that. First, this chick has a lot of nish with her. Who is she to decide what shoes she will wear! And you let her get that with now changing the plan for every other bridesmaid that you have. It's like the show is being run around HER decisions and not YOURS.
Secondly, if she was truly a friend, she would not drop out of the wedding over some shoes and confusion that she started!!!!
Just my opinion...
Askalot, I am so with you! That was totally childish and selfish for her to make it about her. I would call her but I wouldn't ask her to be in the wedding if she decided to drop out over such a trivial issue that she caused. It would probabaly cause dissention with your bridal party anyway. Your show(wedding) with go on without her and it will be fabulous and drama free.
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Selfish,selfish,oh so selfish.That is what that bridesmaid is.You do not need her around you on your big day.1st to buy shoes that weren't chosen by you.2nd to choose another colour shoe without consulting you. 3rd to tell the other bridesmaids to buy that colour shoe,and finally for dropping out because another BM so rightly was upset because she changed the colour.Seams to me like she only wanted to cause problems from day 1.So your are probably better off without her.
Karenita1 told the other BM they they could get the bronze shoes, not the BM.
She'll probably realize how crazy it was and call to apologize :)
I agree
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First of all, maybe u should of went and picked out the shoes for everyone and collected the money from everyone, this would of cut out alot of mess.But, for your friend,GET OVER IT ! Some people just cant deal with stress especially when its not there own.Keep your head up.LOL
"WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME,It is for me!
June 20,2009 Ill marry my soulmate!
Oops my bad
Yeah, I picked out my Bm's shoes and told them where to purchase them from. I actually chose 2 pair and they could choose which one they wanted. I did that because one shoe had a higher heel than the other and a couple of my girls either don't wea high heels or have foot problems. It worked out well for me by doing so.
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I allowed my ladies to pick what ever shoe works for them. I want them to be comfortable. Some of the ladies can wear heals, while others are not. The goal for me is comfort. Same dress, and jewelry. Different shoes.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I AGREE DAUGHTER RHONDA SAME HERE. WITH THE DRESS, YOU DON'T EVEN REALLY SEE THE SHOES. MY ONLY REQUIREMENT WAS THAT THEY ARE SILVER. OTHERWISE, WEAR WHAT IS COMFORTABLE
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GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY
THanks guys for all your suggestions.
I was trying to let the bridesmaids feel comefortable and pick out their own shoes for the same reasons others have given - heels vs no heels etc - my only stipulation was that they be gold. All the other bridesmaids were fine with that.
It is sort of working out thought because one of the groomsmen might not be able to be in the wedding party for financial reasons although he is doing his best. So I may just take the pressure off him and have the four couples instead of five. Anyway I will try to speak to her about it even thought I have no intention of begging anyone to be my friend or to be a part of my wedding party. She emailed me and she apparently thinks that the rest of us were talking about her behind her back or something. I told her that the discussion was about shoes not her. The thing that hurts me personally is that she just dropped out without even trying to discuss anything. I don't really feel ready to speak to her just yet and the wedding is so much - especially with the stress of school only now being taken off my back (I passed my exam Praise the Lord, God Almighty. Thank you for the prayer Rhony) So I'm not ready to deal with another stressful emotional situation. Maybe I will just leave it until after the wedding. I won't withdraw my invitation to the wedding itself but you guys are right - perhaps I don't need her around me on that day.
Kay-Kay
KAY-KAY I'M GLAD TO SEE THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE UP THIS EARLY ON VIBRIDE! LOL
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Congratulations Kay Kay, I'm so glad you passed your exam. God is faithful and He took you through girl! What a blessing. Now as far as your friend is concerned, I believe that situation will work itself out. Don't stress over it too much, this should be the happiest time of your life and if girlfriend can't get with the program -- OH WELL!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Kay Kay, okay, it seems like she dropped out because of embarrassment or because she felt humiliated. You're right, she should've spoken to you first but for one minute put yourself in her shoes. I probably would drop out too if I felt everyone (including you) were talking about me. I say talk to her get everything out (I even had to do it with one my BM). After our convo, I found out what was behind her distancing had nothing to do with me. She's still apart of my bridal party and I'm happy that she still is!
Excellent advice Askalot!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
That's sweet!
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I agree with askalot! Glad you passed your exam!
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