Ladies, as much as I would love to have that big wedding of my dreams, FH and I may have to reconsider. There's a little family drama going on and some of FH's family have me on their "hate" list. Tonight, we discussed possibly having any intimate ceremony and send out "Just Married" announcements after the fact. Then maybe in a year or so, if everyone can act like they have sense, we can have a big renewal ceremony. I have some ideas for time and place but since this is a public site, I'll have to remain silent to avoid sabotage. Hopefully, when "the coast is clear", I can give you some details.
Has anyone else considered doing this? Have your in-laws created so much drama and/or aggravation to the point you don't even want to have a big wedding?
Ladies, as much as I would love to have that big wedding of my dreams, FH and I may have to reconsider. There's a little family drama going on and some of FH's family have me on their "hate" list. Tonight, we discussed possibly having any intimate ceremony and send out "Just Married" announcements after the fact. Then maybe in a year or so, if everyone can act like they have sense, we can have a big renewal ceremony. I have some ideas for time and place but since this is a public site, I'll have to remain silent to avoid sabotage. Hopefully, when "the coast is clear", I can give you some details.
Has anyone else considered doing this? Have your in-laws created so much drama and/or aggravation to the point you don't even want to have a big wedding?
Born Blessed!
Honey, if you have always dreamed of the big wedding - don't sacrifice that for the sake of some family members!
A while back, I was considering scaling down the wedding coz FH's big sister went off me. FH and I and FH's sister and her fiance all went to St Lucia earlier this year and FH and has sister had a row about the hire car. Stupid I know, but it escalated into a big row. She was pregnant at the time, so that might explain her over-reaction!
She didn't speak to us for about 4 months, but then she decided to start speaking to FH but not me!! I couldn't understand it. It made family gatherings very difficult and because she was pregnant - nobody could say anything. I just wanted to forget the wedding we had planned becasue she was supposed to be one of my bridesmaids.
Anyway, she's had the baby now, and now wvrything seems back to normal. Hormones, eh??!! So, big wedding back on!
Don't give your dreams for stupid drama issues. Unless it's something life-threatening, no one will spoil yours and FH's day. Plan your wedding girl!!!
NEVER! dont ever sacrifice your dream just because other people doesnt like you. who's gonna get married? you and FH, right? who are they? well yeah they are family, so what? they dont like you, so what? hey, this is your life, your dream, and your wedding. so.. sc**w them! carry on with your plan, sis! dont let anybody stand on your way of happiness.. and never do the marriage in silent way... i know its peaceful way, but.. i dont know. if you did it, i feel like you're kinda showing that they have control over you and that you are somehow troubled by their hateness. come on girl! show them that their hateness wont bug you! keep your pride by having a great wedding like what you've been dreaming of! you deserve it, sis....dont you think so?
Either I will Find a way, or I will MAKE a way!!!
Plat please don't cancel your wedding! I know this is something you want. Don't let anyone dictate to you how you will vow your life to your FH. Make it clear, with you and your FH presenting a united front, that they can either be happy for you two and be there, or be left out!
Hey Plat,
I got married 2 months ago in a civil ceremony and was still planning to have my ceremony in July. The civil ceremony was supposed to be secret, but it got out by accident and caused a big mess. And even after that, more mess ensued. DH decided to call the wedding off because of all the drama, but after a while, we reevaluated and decided that because it was something the we (mostly me lol) wanted to us. We deserve to have what we want because at the end of the day it is about us. I'm not telling you to do it the way I did it, but don't base your decision on what others want because it's about you and FH. Damn the rest of that foolishness.
Thank you Ladies. I'll let you know what we decide.
Born Blessed!
I personally think that getting married is the most important part. I would have an intimate wedding anyday instead of someone acting a fool and embarassing me and destroying my wedding day. Sugar do what's in your best interest.
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platinumstyle
I believe you & FH need to decide what you guys want to do-not because of OTHER people but because it was a mutual decision. People are going to always have something to say, so whether you do it big or intimately his family will obviously not be satisfied so in the words of my sista aresthea-sc**w them! LOL
Plat, do what YOU want! If you want a wedding have your wedding. Get some shonuf Holy Ghost Filled sistas and brothers on your side and do some praying (I'll be one of them). Remember the prayers of the righteous availeth much.
If you don't want to go that route; then get some BIG bodyguards/bouncers and have them bounce anyone who thinks about raising some Heck at your wedding.
'Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.' - Hebrews 11:1
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
You have your dream wedding. People always have opinions about how you should do this or that....Don't let them win....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Plat, I agree with the sistas here. Don't let anyone steal your joy. I will pray for your situation.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
I know that's right Tewright! I'm digging both scenarios! Do YOU or YA'LL meaning you and YOUR FH ...:)
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[quote="housewife147"]I personally think that getting married is the most important part. I would have an intimate wedding anyday instead of someone acting a fool and embarassing me and destroying my wedding day. Sugar do what's in your best interest.
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House you nailed it!!! I agree with Housewife. Go ahead and elope if you and fh decide to do that. Plat the important thing is that you and your fh will be married. That will show those family members that they can't come in between you and your fh. If you decided to have a big ceremony later, then go for it. In any event I wish you guys the best. God bless!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I understand what House and Rhony are saying...I think that in anycase you should make it special...If you want to do a civil ceremony, make it special...Have your ceremony, and invite your close and personal friends to a restaraunt on a beach with a view and book a private area there at your favorite restaurant, decorate it with favors, candles, etc. With such a small party (less than 20-30..shoot 10 if you like), you can afford small luxuries such as individual cakes, or a small decadent cake from your favorite baker or publix. You can afford luxuries for favors such as mini wines (like the 4-pack or white or red wines in the store) with a ribbon and thank you card, or really ANY favor, but you'll just get to buy a smaller amount of favors.....Get a simpler, sexy dress, and see if you can even get a minister or official to do your quiet intimate ceremony on the beach, and you all can just walk right into the restaraunt....you can still "elope" but it doesn't have to feel like its rushed or Quick...or have a drive-through feel. Still-you can even make plans to go on vacation the next day...Send pretty e-vites to your close personal friends....you can do this for less than 2,000.00! Even less if you like! Whatever you do...if "eloping" is what you want....just do it big....Many of the most beautiful ceremonies are still weddings, and have less than 20 guests!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Thanks for your advice and prayers. I'll let you know what we decide.
Born Blessed!
Bumble my anniversary is coming up, girl I'm going to have to hire you for some wonderful ideas. You provided Plat with some wonderful suggestions!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Send me an email, or call me...I'll hook you up....I get all my inspiration...right here:)
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Ultimately Plat, the choice is between you and your FH. In the two years i've been on vibride, you have shared so much about how you and your FH have never given up on being man and wife so don't allow this stressful situation to deter you from your ultimate dream
Take it from me, my DH and I succumbed to the stress that family was sending our way and we stopped focusing on what we wanted and tried to accommodate everybody and their momma...who didn't even show up to our wedding! I've said it once, I'll say it again, weddings bring out the ugly so whatever yall decide, go with Bumbles advice and do it right so you don't think back on that day with a small tinge of regret like I do.
All the best sista as you make your decision.
** It doesn't take the whole day to recognize sunshine **
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Hey there, Taunyana! It's good to "see" you again. Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary! I can't believe it's been that long. May God continue to bless you and your DH. Thanks for the advice.
Born Blessed!
HOW ABOUT YOULL PLAN TO HAVE A CEREMONY SOMEWHERE PRIVATE AND JUST DONT INVITE THOSE (HATERS) TO THE CEREMONY!!! ITS YOUR DAY DONT LET THEM RUIN YOUR DREAMS.
"WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME,It is for me!
June 20,2009 Ill marry my soulmate!
Plat, most of the ladies said what I feel. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. I just don't want you to elope and then regret your decision later. :-( Keep us posted.
[quote="soon2bride"]HOW ABOUT YOULL PLAN TO HAVE A CEREMONY SOMEWHERE PRIVATE AND JUST DONT INVITE THOSE (HATERS) TO THE CEREMONY!!! ITS YOUR DAY DONT LET THEM RUIN YOUR DREAMS.
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We thought about having a Sandals Destination Wedding in the Bahamas before. I'm going to check out other options as well...
Born Blessed!
Plat-only if this is what you really want! I agree with the other ladies, don't let noone else steal your joy. If your dream is to have a big wedding-do it whether it is 20 or 200 people there. I also think if you don't truly go with your heart your will regret it later on
Thanks Ladies. I'll let you know what we decide.
Born Blessed!