Before you both get too close to the wedding, I would go ahead and start sitting in the engaged and or married couples class at church or in your community, and start at least 1 meeting with your pastor or whoever the officiant....Sometimes listening to other couples may make you realize how much or how little your problems are, or you may see them and say, oh my....our problems COULD be worse, or here is how to get through it. Also the counseling can get you on a Godly page and sometimes when the focus is on pleasing him, it just makes things seems easier to handle....God Bless:)
Ladies, I have been so busy with the end of the school year with my pre-schoolers, their program, and testing them that I haven't had the chance to update you. Well, FH went to get his fish tank from the stupid BITCH on the 7th. He also saw the baby and wow the lightbulb finally turned on and he saw that the baby is NOT his. She is trying to get Medicade for the baby and HA HA HA she HAS to prove the paternity. Well at first she said 1 month back up on a DNA test. Now she is saying that it is 3 months until the DNA test can be done. He laughed in her face and said for her to only call when she had a date and time for the test. She kept calling for about 4 days after getting his tank and kept on harassing him. She has finally stopped calling as far as he is telling me. Things are getting so much better. I will keep you guys posted on all that is going on.
SO HE FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT! THAT'S GREAT AND I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THINGS ARE GOING BETTER FOR YOU FUTURE MRS. TAYLOR. I WISH YOU TWO NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU TWO IN MY PRAYERS.
The wedding is still on but right now he is saying that we should put it off for a year because he wants to get all our debts paid right now or go and do a wedding in Vegas. I am SO against a Vegas wedding and I don't want to postpone our wedding. I plan on working a little extra to sock away some extra money and have even considdered donating plasma to help build up our funds. I don't know, I just know that I am ready for us to get married and not to put things off because who is to say that we will be out of debt in a year or if something else will come up. Please give me advice.
I am happy to know that everything is pulling together and that you sound HAPPY!!! Your Happiness is most important.
About your wedding situation,I think you should just talk to him and explain to him how bad you want the wedding and dont want to wait a year. I think you guys can both come to a compromise in this situation and still have your wedding. Good Luck! :0)
I would definitely get the counseling together....Let him know you are willing to wait, but its good to get an unbiased opinion. Since things between you all are a little sensitive and complex, I lean towards waiting a while, but getting some counseling in....If after counseling, you all, and your Pastor feels great, then get married in 4 months as planned....Debt is debt....its coming now matter what....If Your debt and his debt will become "ya'll's debt" (I'm from the south..LOL)....whether its a little or a lot....
That being said....you have to actually MAKE A PLAN THOUGH....its not enough to say, we will do this or that...you have got a date set....why don't you set some goals TODAY! You can get the counseling, and scale back on the wedding if need be....And work together on helping reduce the debt load, or maybe you can get some of the wedding payments, and encourage him to get the debt reduced....it takes a long time to get rid of debt, but its easier with a plan....
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]I would definitely get the counseling together....Let him know you are willing to wait, but its good to get an unbiased opinion. Since things between you all are a little sensitive and complex, I lean towards waiting a while, but getting some counseling in....If after counseling, you all, and your Pastor feels great, then get married in 4 months as planned....Debt is debt....its coming now matter what....If Your debt and his debt will become "ya'll's debt" (I'm from the south..LOL)....whether its a little or a lot....
That being said....you have to actually MAKE A PLAN THOUGH....its not enough to say, we will do this or that...you have got a date set....why don't you set some goals TODAY! You can get the counseling, and scale back on the wedding if need be....And work together on helping reduce the debt load, or maybe you can get some of the wedding payments, and encourage him to get the debt reduced....it takes a long time to get rid of debt, but its easier with a plan....
[/quote]
Actually Future_Mrs_Taylor, I'm surprised that you wouldn't want to wait. After all that you guys have been through. And Diva Bumble gave great advice. I believe that you guys need some spiritual counseling as well.
Compromise with him and tell him that you're willing to wait, but a year is too long. How about rescheduling in 6 months. Bring your calendar when you talk to FH and say that I'm willing to Postpone, but we will pick a date for early next year, either March or April. Tell him that you'll always have some form of debt or another, but I agree with him in that rescheduling would give you more of an opportunity to pay off your wedding and be totally debt-free of this wedding because you guys would be paying for things as you go along. Although there's nothing wrong with planning a wedding in 4 months, however, after the mega strain that you've both been under, I would reschedule to 6 months and start my planning all over again, with all the happiness that you've both earned. Don't carry bad Karma into your wedding/marriage.
I know that you're anxious to be married, but there's more to a marriage than just the ceremony. Continue the healing within your relationship, get spiritual counseling and pin your FH down to compromise on a date.
[quote="soon2bmsj"]Glad to see you back future-mrs.-taylor!! :)
PLEEEEEEEEZE let us know when FH has his paternity test and the results! :)
[/quote]
Hey Mrstaylor-reread your post again after seeing all of the other ladies responses as far as waiting on the wedding and I totally agree--if he is not ready, don't force it, but I agree give him a specific time and come to a happy median..I believe one of the divas said 6 months and I think that is more than enough time for you guys to get it together whether in debt or out...
also, I noticed you referred to the "potential" bm as a "B"...I just hope whatever the outcome of the paternity test is, you are able to get past your dislike of this person-granted, she may be foul by trying to put a baby on him, but also, don't forget that your FH played and major part in the situation by even the possibility of being the father, so please don't overlook that. We as women tend to blame the woman for all that happens but tend to forget that it takes 2 to tango...
[quote="soon2bmsj"] don't forget that your FH played and major part in the situation by even the possibility of being the father, so please don't overlook that. We as women tend to blame the woman for all that happens but tend to forget that it takes 2 to tango...
[/quote]
Let the congregation say amen...
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Yeah, you never want to force it...Pull that calander out and look for a new date...shoot you may present a great case by showing him some off-season dates that will save you money...Girl, it ain't that much blood in the world will help your finances much...I think a plan to reduce the debt load and show progress is in order....Keep your plasma honey....
It's nice to hear from you girl. Continue to pray and good luck to you.
I'm glad to hear things are much better Future. Continue praying for the situation to work out and for peace to prevail
[url=http://www.baby-gaga.com/][img]http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogadb20080703_1_My+Little+Angel+is.png[/img][/url]
Thanks for checking in Future_mrs_taylor. Glad to hear things are going for you.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Before you both get too close to the wedding, I would go ahead and start sitting in the engaged and or married couples class at church or in your community, and start at least 1 meeting with your pastor or whoever the officiant....Sometimes listening to other couples may make you realize how much or how little your problems are, or you may see them and say, oh my....our problems COULD be worse, or here is how to get through it. Also the counseling can get you on a Godly page and sometimes when the focus is on pleasing him, it just makes things seems easier to handle....God Bless:)
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
Ladies, I have been so busy with the end of the school year with my pre-schoolers, their program, and testing them that I haven't had the chance to update you. Well, FH went to get his fish tank from the stupid BITCH on the 7th. He also saw the baby and wow the lightbulb finally turned on and he saw that the baby is NOT his. She is trying to get Medicade for the baby and HA HA HA she HAS to prove the paternity. Well at first she said 1 month back up on a DNA test. Now she is saying that it is 3 months until the DNA test can be done. He laughed in her face and said for her to only call when she had a date and time for the test. She kept calling for about 4 days after getting his tank and kept on harassing him. She has finally stopped calling as far as he is telling me. Things are getting so much better. I will keep you guys posted on all that is going on.
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com
SO HE FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT! THAT'S GREAT AND I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THINGS ARE GOING BETTER FOR YOU FUTURE MRS. TAYLOR. I WISH YOU TWO NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU TWO IN MY PRAYERS.
Glad to see you back future-mrs.-taylor!! :)
PLEEEEEEEEZE let us know when FH has his paternity test and the results! :)
Welcome back my sister and from your post you "sound" a lot better. I'm glad that things are better for you. Please keep us posted.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Welcome back sister and I'm glad things are working out well between you and your FH. Is the wedding still on?
The wedding is still on but right now he is saying that we should put it off for a year because he wants to get all our debts paid right now or go and do a wedding in Vegas. I am SO against a Vegas wedding and I don't want to postpone our wedding. I plan on working a little extra to sock away some extra money and have even considdered donating plasma to help build up our funds. I don't know, I just know that I am ready for us to get married and not to put things off because who is to say that we will be out of debt in a year or if something else will come up. Please give me advice.
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com
OMG ...PLASMA??????? For Real? You would?
What's the rush ...if either of you have a postponement doubt ...then do that until YALL can agree on a date.
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[/url]
I am happy to know that everything is pulling together and that you sound HAPPY!!! Your Happiness is most important.
About your wedding situation,I think you should just talk to him and explain to him how bad you want the wedding and dont want to wait a year. I think you guys can both come to a compromise in this situation and still have your wedding. Good Luck! :0)
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
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http://www.mywedding.com/porscheandfakhree
I would definitely get the counseling together....Let him know you are willing to wait, but its good to get an unbiased opinion. Since things between you all are a little sensitive and complex, I lean towards waiting a while, but getting some counseling in....If after counseling, you all, and your Pastor feels great, then get married in 4 months as planned....Debt is debt....its coming now matter what....If Your debt and his debt will become "ya'll's debt" (I'm from the south..LOL)....whether its a little or a lot....
That being said....you have to actually MAKE A PLAN THOUGH....its not enough to say, we will do this or that...you have got a date set....why don't you set some goals TODAY! You can get the counseling, and scale back on the wedding if need be....And work together on helping reduce the debt load, or maybe you can get some of the wedding payments, and encourage him to get the debt reduced....it takes a long time to get rid of debt, but its easier with a plan....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]I would definitely get the counseling together....Let him know you are willing to wait, but its good to get an unbiased opinion. Since things between you all are a little sensitive and complex, I lean towards waiting a while, but getting some counseling in....If after counseling, you all, and your Pastor feels great, then get married in 4 months as planned....Debt is debt....its coming now matter what....If Your debt and his debt will become "ya'll's debt" (I'm from the south..LOL)....whether its a little or a lot....
That being said....you have to actually MAKE A PLAN THOUGH....its not enough to say, we will do this or that...you have got a date set....why don't you set some goals TODAY! You can get the counseling, and scale back on the wedding if need be....And work together on helping reduce the debt load, or maybe you can get some of the wedding payments, and encourage him to get the debt reduced....it takes a long time to get rid of debt, but its easier with a plan....
[/quote]
Ditto to what Bumblebee said...
[url=http://www.baby-gaga.com/][img]http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/dogdogadb20080703_1_My+Little+Angel+is.png[/img][/url]
Actually Future_Mrs_Taylor, I'm surprised that you wouldn't want to wait. After all that you guys have been through. And Diva Bumble gave great advice. I believe that you guys need some spiritual counseling as well.
Compromise with him and tell him that you're willing to wait, but a year is too long. How about rescheduling in 6 months. Bring your calendar when you talk to FH and say that I'm willing to Postpone, but we will pick a date for early next year, either March or April. Tell him that you'll always have some form of debt or another, but I agree with him in that rescheduling would give you more of an opportunity to pay off your wedding and be totally debt-free of this wedding because you guys would be paying for things as you go along. Although there's nothing wrong with planning a wedding in 4 months, however, after the mega strain that you've both been under, I would reschedule to 6 months and start my planning all over again, with all the happiness that you've both earned. Don't carry bad Karma into your wedding/marriage.
I know that you're anxious to be married, but there's more to a marriage than just the ceremony. Continue the healing within your relationship, get spiritual counseling and pin your FH down to compromise on a date.
Good luck to you sister.
Well said Ginoue. I totally agree.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Well said Bumble and Ginuoe!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="soon2bmsj"]Glad to see you back future-mrs.-taylor!! :)
PLEEEEEEEEZE let us know when FH has his paternity test and the results! :)
[/quote]
Hey Mrstaylor-reread your post again after seeing all of the other ladies responses as far as waiting on the wedding and I totally agree--if he is not ready, don't force it, but I agree give him a specific time and come to a happy median..I believe one of the divas said 6 months and I think that is more than enough time for you guys to get it together whether in debt or out...
also, I noticed you referred to the "potential" bm as a "B"...I just hope whatever the outcome of the paternity test is, you are able to get past your dislike of this person-granted, she may be foul by trying to put a baby on him, but also, don't forget that your FH played and major part in the situation by even the possibility of being the father, so please don't overlook that. We as women tend to blame the woman for all that happens but tend to forget that it takes 2 to tango...
[quote="soon2bmsj"] don't forget that your FH played and major part in the situation by even the possibility of being the father, so please don't overlook that. We as women tend to blame the woman for all that happens but tend to forget that it takes 2 to tango...
[/quote]
Let the congregation say amen...
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaamen Aaaaaaaaaaamen Amen!
:clapping:
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[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10712;106/st/20081228/e/Our+Anniversary/k/5eb4/event.png[/img]
[/url]
[quote="Turiya"]Aaaaaaaaaaaaaamen Aaaaaaaaaaamen Amen!
:clapping:
[/quote]
WEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Yeah, you never want to force it...Pull that calander out and look for a new date...shoot you may present a great case by showing him some off-season dates that will save you money...Girl, it ain't that much blood in the world will help your finances much...I think a plan to reduce the debt load and show progress is in order....Keep your plasma honey....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
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