You ladies are so wise

I see how that could be a problem. Especially if the reception hall only so many people. That was my dilemma at one time. The reception hall will only hold probably 100-150 people and I couldn't decide whether to send 50 or 100 invitations. Because you add 1 person with those, and that's 100-200.

Ooh, Rony I so understand and feel your pain! I had guests to check 1 or 2 on my rsvp card but some just wrote in their number. People are very inconsiderate and I really don't know any other way to get the point across that money and space are limited. We still have people calling and saying that they are coming even though they did not rsvp. My parents have paid for 200 people to eat but the rest will be on on. We have at least 65 extra people and I'm stressed out about it because alot of them are family members who didn't rsvp. My wedding is in 2 1/2 weeks so please pray for us that the money comes through.

I am still working on the most tactful and polite way to inform people that they can come to the wedding itf they like but that the reception is going to be very private. I can only afford 100 people.

I know the feeling, people who I havent seen or talked to since I was younger are expecting to come to my weddng and I just cant afford it. I am paying a little over 12,000 for 130 people and refuse to pay a dime more. I will indeed write the number on the response card because I am not paying for anyone else. Now if they send me the extra money with the response card then we can talk other then that no way.

Rhony, I know that's right! Have your FH handle that. People are really, really inconsiderate!!!! I will under NO circumstances leave it blank - I KNOW my folks!!!

When I went to a baby shower - it was at a restaurant and you had to RSVP. Well the grandma of the new baby was about to lose her mind! Because people didn't RSVP but showed up and then those that did, didn't show up. She said "I never knew how important a RSVP was until I did this baby shower". People ususally don't know how important it is unless they've done something themselves.

If I invite people and they do not RSVP or RSVP too late, I am going to send them a tactful letter saying that they are too late. I do not care how close a relation they are. This is our hard earned money. I am payinf 52.50 a person here!

Girl I know that's right I am paying 70.00 a person. My fh want to have the ceremony at snuffy's because they want 40.00 a person. I wonder if you could take a person to court who rsvp and didnt show up. I feel like if you rsvp you are promising to come.

I would let it go. They missed out and you can always expect it to happen. They are the people who cry the loudest for an invite and then they do not come.

Boy I am praying to work this invite thing out. I know my coordinator will be helping me on this! I am totally at a blank here. I know I keep saying this, but I just don't know how I'm gonna feel when I have to turn people away. I have been saying that the invite list isn't done and that it will most likely be family only, but I just hate to hurt people's feelings. My need to be honest and forthcoming is greater than feeling like I need to please ans spare feelings, but the fact that we go through these things at all is hearbreaking. I am so sorry you went through this Rhony, I will definitely heed your and all the other vibride's advice.

Everything that's been said is so true! I actually had one RSVP where 12 (yes 12) was written in. And yes, they all showed up. But in the end, it seemed like it all evened out because there was those who didn't respond and just showed up, and those who responded but didn't attend. Another problem I had was guests who received invitations, yet acted as if they knew none of the details. Like, what time the wedding started. But anyway..

[quote="mycenae1918"]If I invite people and they do not RSVP or RSVP too late, I am going to send them a tactful letter saying that they are too late. I do not care how close a relation they are. This is our hard earned money. I am payinf 52.50 a person here!
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now thats what i'm talking about!
its such a shame how ppl handle the rsvp issue. be firm and if need be designate someone to handle rsvp's esp. the closer the wedding gets. i all but had a nervous breakdown trying to keep up w/ rsvp's. all the best to you ladies.

[quote="housewife147"]Girl I know that's right I am paying 70.00 a person. [/quote]

House, where are you having your ceremony/reception?

I would not worry about folks who act like they do not know the details. That is what ushers are for. Once the bridal party starts walking in No One else gets to come in! let them know.

I am having my wedding and ceremony at Berkeley Plaza in Berkeley Heights,NJ

Wow, $70 for there? that's great. When I checked about 6 months ago, their price was no where near $70. You got yourself a good deal. My suggestion to you, have your reception upstairs! I went to a wedding there last year and it was upstairs. It's very secluded up there. Any events downstairs, people just keep walking by and are all in the way! Trust me on this one!

I looked at both the upstairs and the downstairs rooms. I am having my wedding down stairs because I think it is much more stunning. My wedding will be outside, cocktail hour in the crystal room and reception in the grand ballroom.

Okay, I hope all works out well for you. I know when I went to that other wedding, the bride's downstairs were pissed because it wasn't private enough for them. They got tired of seeing people that weren't at their wedding by their door. I like the balcony part upstairs. I wish you all the best! :-)

Thanks so much and I wish the same for you.

We put the name of the person who we invited and the number of people they could bring along, if any.I know we have made a big mistake in relation to some of FH sisters because we just said eg.Sunshine and family.FH insisted on this but I would have put a number.I just hope her adult children who don't live with her ( I must add)and their children will not attend.My consolation is that I have catered for 35 more people than were invited. I know for a fact that there will be people there that weren't invited .They will just tag along with invited guest.As for R.S.V.Ping people in my birthland hardly do it but you can believe that they will turn up.

[quote="housewife147"]I looked at both the upstairs and the downstairs rooms. I am having my wedding down stairs because I think it is much more stunning. My wedding will be outside, *bleep*tail hour in the crystal room and reception in the grand ballroom.
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FH and I went there but our day was taken ( 8-11-07)...We settled for the Westwood...which is beautiful, a little more pricey but we are very pleased with the package we got. As far as RSVP are concerned if you don't RSVP you don't eat at my weddidng, that is something that I will tell friends and family alike.

YOU GO ONYXSWAN!! LET IT BE KNOWN.

Rhony, this is easy. Tell whoever is calling this. "Lisa, sorry but I can't add anymore. When we did our guest list, we only accounted for a certain amount of people and we can't go over. Although, I'm sorry that "Tony & em" can't come, we hope that you'll still be able to attend." Or something like that.

Girl that is perfect. I am so sick and tired of telling my mother and fmil that they can not invite no one else unless they plan to pay for them. They even give my phone number out and tell the people to ask me themselves.

Luckily, I don't have to worry about that with my mom and FMIL. However, the people in my family will try you! I am not budging. FH & I are not rich, but he wants me to have my dream wedding (well as close as possible to it). Therefore, only who we have on the list is who will be attending.

I have been thinking about doing this, let me know what you think. On the main table at the venue, there will be place cards (the person's name and table assignment). On each table will be another place card with who sits where. Is this too much? I just don't want anyone try to go to sit at a table (that didn't RSVP) and take someone's seat that DID RSVP.

Do you think it will be too much extra work for you if you do it this way.

DaughterRhonda I think that is a perfect idea but it does take time.But with time and proper planning as well as help you should be able to do it. So I say go for it.

THanks house and Rhony! I'll run it past my MOH tonight, if she doesn't respond before then.

Hi Ladies...I'm enjoying this forum!!!
One of my Co-workers just recently got married and to avoid people coming in that did not R.S.V.P, she prepared a spread sheet & had Registration Hostesses sitting @ the front door checking off names as the guests arrived. Those that were not on the list had to step aside and wait until all other guests (that did R.S.V.P)were checked in. If there were seats available afterwards they were able to come in. Needless to say, very few got in!!! I told her I was going to use that same concept. HTH!!!

Welcome Tracee to the site. That's a wonderful idea. When are you getting married? And what does HTH mean?

[quote="SeptBride"] On the main table at the venue, there will be place cards (the person's name and table assignment). On each table will be another place card with who sits where. Is this too much? I just don't want anyone try to go to sit at a table (that didn't RSVP) and take someone's seat that DID RSVP.
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I'm lovin' it. I am DOING that Askalot!

Oops sorry earlier post was directed to SeptBride.That's what happens when you are joggling house work and Vibride.

[quote="Musikana"] On the main table at the venue, there will be place cards (the person's name and table assignment). On each table will be another place card with who sits where. Is this too much? I just don't want anyone try to go to sit at a table (that didn't RSVP) and take someone's seat that DID RSVP.

I'm lovin' it. I am DOING that Askalot!
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Good! Now I feel better about it. I just want things to go as smooth as possible!

[quote="SeptBride"]Welcome Tracee to the site. That's a wonderful idea. When are you getting married? And what does HTH mean?
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THANKS...
We're looking @ Sept. 29,2007, but I've always wanted to get married on a Sunday and I'm leaning towards the 30th.

By the way, HTH means "hope that helps"

[quote="DaughterRhonda"]Welcome Tracee! I see that you are from South Carolina. My family is from Rock Hill, South Carolina. What part are you from?
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Thank for the welcome...I'm in Greenville, SC.